A Resolution You Can Actually Use!
JDBrink • January 19, 2021
We All Get a Redo!
I originally wrote the following in December of 2018. It was our first New Year out of the Navy and back home among friends. Back when we could safely have New Year’s Eve parties.
And now, two years later, I’m still using this revolutionary method for not driving myself crazy. And you can too!
(Declared in my best infomercial voice.)
This morning I woke up too early, laid in bed trying to deny that I had to pee. When I finally rolled over and looked at the clock, I realized that I had gotten a good solid 6 hours of sleep, I wasn’t going to fall back asleep before my alarm went off anyway, and yes, I really did have to pee! So I got up, used the bathroom, showered, and had 1.5 hours of extra time to accomplish something this morning. So now I can mark one item off my list for the day! Two more and I’m golden.
What am I talking about? Read on...
* * *
On New Years Eve night, as the clock on TV was counting down the last 10 seconds, along with everyone in the room, I had a terrible thought.
“This is all crap. Nature and the universe don’t give a damn about this arbitrary clock and random date we’ve picked. It means nothing. It’s the same as the midnight before and the midnight after. Why is everyone so excited?”
What a party pooper.
I didn’t voice that to my wife or guests, of course.
But then—much like the Grinch whose heart suddenly grew three sizes more—I had a revelation. I saw the spirit of it, the function, the purpose. Sure, the night sky and the seasons and the universe don’t notice what day we pick to celebrate our calendars turning over, but we can.
The benefit of the New Year is as much a renewal for us as the spring is to the world around us. (And spring is less predictable these days than it used to be. At least we know when to restart on the calendar!)
It really is our chance—and our choice—to start new. To drop all that extra weight and stressful burden we’ve been carrying around for the past year, let it crash to the floor. Then take two steps away and turn and ponder. Get a good look. Say to ourselves, “Wow, no wonder I’ve been tired and my back’s been hurting! Look at all that shit I’ve piled up on myself!”
Pretty much all indie writers expect too much of themselves. And get frustrated when they don’t somehow manage to pull it all off.
“I want to write four books this year. And start a new mailing list. And do big promotion events. And put new covers on all my existing books. And join an online community. And I really have to start getting on social media more just to be present every day. Oh, and I guess I should still go to my day job that keeps a roof over our head and feeds the family. Oh, yeah, the family... I guess I should spend some time with them too. Hmmm...”
How the hell are you going to do all that stuff? You’re probably not. Not happily, at least. And then when you can’t squeeze 28 hours into every day, you punish yourself and get depressed.
But, of course, it’s not just writers. Everyone can (and does) think this way.
So we toss out last year’s calendar and hang a new one. A blank slate. A chance to reassess and set a new plan. Great!
Thus, the New Year’s Resolution.
And in having my epiphany, I went a little further: What is the main problem with the New Year’s Resolution?
The problem is, we don’t keep them, right? The gym fills up in January and is empty again by February.
But why?
I think one major factor is the scale.
Not the one you stand on and groan. It’s the proportion of your goals. They’re too big. We try planning for a year. A whole year! Who does that? And who can keep it up for that long?
Almost no one.
So my solution…
THE RULE OF 3
The solution is, you scale is back. You don’t set these big, lofty goals. You don’t load that big, heavy pack of shit back onto your shoulders and go right back to trudging up the mountain. Didn’t work last year, why do it again?
Instead, you set smaller goals. Smaller time frames. And no more than three of them at a time.
For example, when you make your list of things to do, how long does that list get? If you’re like me, there’s 8 to 12 items on there. And a natural law of the universe is “Everything takes twice as long as you think it should.” So I know I’m not getting them all done. No way. But right after I say that out loud, I then add, “Oh yeah, and fix the garage door. Put that on there, too.”
Not gonna happen.
As I look at my ever-increasing slate of writing activities and plans, I realize that I can’t swallow it all. There are so many items I’m putting on my plate, I’d choke.
How many pills can you take at a time? How many will get caught in your throat?
Rule of 3.
I’m going to make my overwhelming list. They are all things that need to be done. If I only get as many as 3 done, I’m good. I’ve reached my goal.
Now on a day off, I might even get 8 of those things taken care of. But during the week, when I work 9 hours and have to make dinner and help my son with homework and spend this much time on the road just getting from place to place... how much can I really expect of myself aside from the necessary day-to-day functioning of life?
And yet I do, and I chastise myself for not doing more. And that’s not fair and it doesn’t help me. It just makes me feel worse.
The solution: Set realistic expectations. Scale it back. Chunk it up into bite-sized hunks. Rule of 3.
Those 3 items can be whatever you say they are. For example:
• Work an 8 to 9 hour work day
• Make dinner
• Help my son with his homework
• Do the dishes
• Write 500 words before bed
There’s five. All possible in one day, but if I fall short, as long as I got 3 of them done, I’ve accomplished enough for one day and shouldn’t be hard on myself. Everything past 3 is bonus material and I can actually feel good about getting that much done. Yeah me!
This may seem overly simplistic, but simple is good. When you get complicated, that’s when things get messy. And hard. And frustrating. And you feel like you can’t do it all.
Keep it simple. Small bites. Easy steps. Doable mini-goals all add up over time.
In the above example, everything takes different amounts of time to get done. The work day is huge. It’s most of any given day. So if you don’t count it, you are expecting too much from yourself! I used to work 12-hour nursing shifts. Add in travel time, eating dinner, and spending any time with family, and your day is over! Expecting yourself to work on major projects on top of all that is asking for a nervous breakdown.
Some items are small, but necessary.
• Pay the electric bill
• Call mom
• Email that guy about the thing (that’s mobster talk)
They make take only a couple of minutes to get done. It may feel like cheating, they’re so quick. But that’s okay!
They needed to get done, right? They count! And at the end of the day, when you look at your list (or review the one in your head), you might have gotten 6 things done today. Good job!
It's about making small goals, completing them, and not punishing yourself because you didn’t do enough today.
You did do enough today. Congrats.
Now get a good night’s sleep and do more tomorrow. There’s always tomorrow.
As I said, I first started doing this (and wrote the first version of this) rolling into 2019.
It’s now 2021 and I’m still doing it. Pretty much every single day for 2 years.
And it works.
I hope this helps. Happy New Year.
I think I hear something but when I glance up at the door… Nothing is there. The noise of the tavern rises and falls beyond. It must have just been— No, wait. I was right. A shadowy figure lingers at the threshold. A silhouette of a man, medium height, perhaps on the thin side. Hard to tell beneath the heavy black cloak and rather beaten-up top hat. He glides into the room, apparently satisfied there’s no threat within. He removes his top hat and bashes it against the wall, collapsing it into an uneven disc. The folded hat slips beneath his cloak to be stashed away. The same gesture reveals a dagger on his belt. I have the distinct impression he’s showing me the weapon for a reason—to ensure there’s no funny business, I guess. “Good evening,” he says, sliding into the seat at my table. He’s a handsome man with dark, piercing eyes, olive skin, and curly sable hair. “I hear you may be in need of… certain services.” “Not true,” I tell him. His suave demeanor becomes suddenly serious. “No?” His hand slips beneath the cloak, perhaps to the dagger’s hilt. “No services,” I say. “Just a few questions.” His dark eyes flick about, surveying the room. I expected this level of suspicion with him. My hand reaches halfway across the table then withdraws, leaving a 50 scept gold coin for him. His reflexes are remarkable; the coin is snatched in the blink of an eye. “I’m listening,” he says. * Me: Solomon Dustwalker? Solomon: Yes. You no doubt recognize me by my iconic top hat. Wearing it is similar to lighting a lantern outside the shop door, if I had a shop. It means I’m open for business and I am indeed the person you’re looking for. Not too many people around here sporting a stovepipe hat. So, tell me the nature of work you need completed. Me: Uh, again, sir, I don’t need any work completed. Outside of answering a few questions. And I have paid you quite handsomely for your honesty. Solomon: Honesty? Honesty is a fluid thing, sir. As well as rare, precious, and expensive… Me: Well, for now, I’ll take the amount of honesty that a gold coin buys and we can go from there. Now, my first question: What brings you to the city of Overlook? Solomon: Business, of course. I’ve brought my exotic talents all the way from the ancient and infamously brutal city of Five Kings. I first came to the Consortium by way of Westgate. That city is a nice blending of west and east. But after a lifetime in the arid lands of the Thirsted Plains, I thought a rise in elevation—and sophistication—was due. Therefore, here I am. Me: And these services you keep offering for sale? I assume the “exotic talents” you mentioned have to do with that? What are your greatest skills, Master Dustwalker? Solomon: How much time do you have? I’m teasing… mostly. Do you need an item acquired from some supposedly safe location? I am a master of stealth, sleight of hand, pick-pocketry, lock defeat. Perhaps there is special information you need and only certain people are privy to these secrets? I ooze charm and my tongue is plated with silver. I am as comfortable in the Goblin King’s court as I am a high-society ball or a tavern’s backroom. Should danger arise, I am an accomplished swordsman and am never short a dagger or two upon my person. And magic—did I mention magic? I even know a little bit of dark sorceries, should the extreme need arise. However… Me: However? Solomon: Well, those are forbidden arts, of a sort. The kind I know, at least. As I said, should extreme needs arise… Me: Impressive, sir. I see now why you enjoy such a reputation for sinister services. Solomon: Sinister? You wound me, sir. My business is as honest as a Silver Scepter. A common saying. The Silver Scepters are the guild of bankers and money lenders… Me: Um, yes. Well, I certainly appreciate your cooperation so far. My last question you may be less keen to answer, though. Do you mind sharing, what would you say is a weakness of yours? Solomon: A weakness? Hmm… You know, I can’t think of a single one. A woman appears at the door from the noisy tavern’s common room beyond. She is lovely with long blonde hair and dressed head to toe in black, similar to Solomon’s own style. Woman in Black: Sol! There you are. I’ve missed you, dear. Come buy me a drink. Solomon arches his eyebrows at me. Overly eager, he pulls his flatten disc from its hiding spot, pops the top open again, quickly slips free from his chair and is back on his feet. Solomon: It’s been lovely speaking with you, sir, but it seems it’s time to go. You can find me again should you need more honest questions answered. Or any of the other services we’ve discussed. Coming, love! I take his expedient exit at her call as answer to my final question…
Stand back, mathematicians! Are you guys ready for this? How's this for some math? Only 72 hours since the Dragon Slayers' Guild Kickstarter campaign went active. 73% of the goal accomplished already. Almost 3/4 in just 3 days! 54 ebooks pledged to go out. 6 paperback copies, 2 of them signed by the author (that's me). 48 audio stories pledged to go out. And all of that is going to just 13 backers so far! So many goodies to only a handful of people! I am so proud to be pledging 108 forms of fantastical fiction to you guys in just 72 hours, with all that accounting for just 13 readers/listeners signed up so far! The mathematical entertainment quotient is mind-blowing! I encourage you to share these numbers far and wide, my nerdly brothers and sisters. Let's see how many people's stockings we can stuff with entertainment goodies post-Santa season! Thank you for making this possible!
First off, I have to apologize a bit. I know I've been bombarding folks about this project. But it's a big deal for me. I've spent the last year writing this book. And the last month putting this Kickstarter campaign together to help pay for the expenses of publishing a book and making it the best it can be. To tell the truth, it's been stressful and today is a huge relief. Because it's finally LIVE! No more waiting and wondering if anyone will care. Because someone already does! So let's get this campaign started! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jdbrink/dragon-slayers-guild-a-heroic-fantasy-adventure I'm happy to say that in the first 24 hours, we’re already 22% of the way to our final goal! That's a way better response than I was expecting. I can finally stop holding my breath and just breathe it all in! I will be sending along some more fun bits over the next 3 weeks, in my newsletter and as Kickstarter updates, such as character interviews and world-building background on this new realm I've created. In the meantime, if you think you might end up contributing to the campaign, remember that the sooner you sign up, the more bonus goodies you get! You can now see the (crappy) video I made, browse all the reward levels, and sign up for up to 3 extra audio-stories, all yours just for joining the cause! THANK YOU for your consideration. THANK YOU for telling other potentially-interested fantasy fans about this, so they can get all these rewards for cheap too. And THANK YOU for reading!
Just days from now, the Dragon Slayers' Guild Kickstarter will kick off! And if you sign up as a backer by January 15, you can get the ebook novel and 4 audio-short stories, all for just $10! Read about the details in today's newsletter: https://preview.mailerlite.com/g1n0g2f5s0 And get notified of the launch here, on Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jdbrink/dragon-slayers-guild-a-heroic-fantasy-adventure
Fur days from now my Kickstarter will begin! In the meantime, you can read the first couple chapters of Dragon Slayers' Guild via Google Docs here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_75RdsI54ON4jUKl6d3di0sbo6UMH1XT/view?usp=share_link Enjoy!
Al long last! It took me almost a year to write this book (which I started about 53 weeks ago!). And I've spent months prepping the Kickstarter to fund it's editing and cover art. And now that time has... almost come. But you can check out the Kickstarter preview page. Go here and have KS email you when the project goes live! There will be lots of goodies to be had! And since the video isn't live there yet, you can see it on Youtube by clicking here. (It's no high-dollar production, but it gets the point across.) There's not much point in me typing any more than this. The video and Kickstarter page will tell you more than I can here. Thanks for checking them out. Stay tuned, more details to come!
(Hmmm... I hope the resolution turns out okay on that image there... Looks kinda grainy as I'm typing this...) Another year down the time warp drain. I don't really need to say it, do I? Every year goes faster and faster, am I right? None of us can believe the date right now. Nobody understands the every accelerating flow of time. Let's just accept that we're all in a time warp and move on, okay? The good news, though, is we all thought the AI Apocalypse would have taken over by now. And since there are no terminators stalking our neighborhoods for survivors, we can celebrate! Yeah! And, of course, New Years is always a great periodic restart. An opportunity to look at how things are, what we've been doing, and give it a new tweak. Take a new running start at life. I'm definitely trying some new things for 2023 -- like a life-altering approach to making a living -- and we'll see how the Grand Experiment goes! Speaking of new things... At long last, I can show you my new book cover! I went big for this one, hiring Rebekah's expert services at Vivid Covers rather than patching my own stuff together. Most of the time, I hired the talented Mr. Erik (or Mr. Henry--he goes by both names and refuses to tell me which he prefers), who drew all the heroes for my superhero books and a few other cover images for me. But then I would take his work, or some stock images, and make do all the design work to make the final cover. And most of those, I think, turned out on the slightly better side of "okay" but... They certainly haven't been the best. I'm hoping this one ranks a bit higher with the "oohs and aahs" factor. So above is the official cover for Dragon Slayers' Guild , featuring Selene, the badass dark elf ninja! If you'd like to get (better formatted) emails on news like this straight to your inbox, go to this link and subscribe to my "Conspiracy Newsletter". (Don't worry, that's just a fun name. There are no crazy conspiracy theories there.) https://www.subscribepage.com/jdbrinkconspiracy To check out this story on the newsletter, which includes 379 books on special offer right now(!) go here: https://preview.mailerlite.com/d1m8t6p8e8 Thanks for reading!
More holiday goodies: 544 books! I'm promoting my fellow authors with these four big promo deals! And yes, there are literally 544 entries between them. Some are free, some are on sale, all are worth checking out! Since it's easier to provide one link than four, click here to go to today's newsletter, where there are four nice little buttons for your convenience. :) https://preview.mailerlite.com/q2x4h9w4q2
The biggest shopping day of the year is almost here. But you can score three big scifi/fantasy hits right now, no elbow pads or crowd combat required! I'll keep this short and sweet. (I'm supposed to be helping to prep the house for THXGVG after all!) RIGHT NOW you can get all three of these books at a reduced price of $2.99 USD on Amazon. That's a 40-67% savings on three of my biggest books! HERO CRISIS is the four-volume boxed set of mature superhero action-adventure. ( That's right, four books for just three bucks! ) Click here to check it out. WILDCARDS is dark urban fantasy and gritty noir horror. It includes the novel One-Eyed Jacks and 8 more shadowy short stories. GREEN-EYED MONSTER collects 18 novellas and short stories all across the galactic spectrum of science fiction, fantasy, and horror. Perfect while you wait at doctor's offices or commute on the train, bus, or starliner. Is that short enough? Check them out and grab them fast before the post-turkey nap kicks in and robs you of your chance!
Just a quickie post here today. I have been too busy to toot my own horn about this but catching up now. Back on Black Friday, 2021--almost a year ago now--I made the decision that this was the book I was going to write. Switching off from two other sci-fi ideas I had been mulling over. I was inspired to make the choice by some fantasy miniatures I'd scored for cheap at a local game shop during Black Friday pricing. The figures I bought represented the characters I had in mind for this book/series. And so inspired, I said, "It's time to give them life!" I spent about a month thinking and planning and plotting. (And the next 10+ months continuing to do the same, sculpting and redirecting and reshaping the outline the story progressed.) I started writing on the last week of December, 2021. And have now finished the first draft on the 2nd day of November, about 10 full months later! Next comes my least favorite part: starting at the beginning and revising the whole damn thing! BLAAGGHH! I hope this process will only take a matter of weeks, though. ...And even typing that line out makes me scoff at myself. But I'm going to try! (And actually, I screwed up putting the details on that image -- if you count the prologue and epilogue, the book has 41 chapters.) Excelsior!
